Evening All, I'm a 23 year old female and I've had pain for the last 8 years as a result of scoliosis and spondylothesis (which I had a fusion for in 2010). Since the operation my pain has been worst and has acculminating in me now leaving my job as I'm unable to carry out my daily work tasks with out it causing pain or anxiety about it causing pain. I was a nurse in a very busy unit.
I am currently suffering a really bad 'flare-up' The worst Ive had since I can remeber. Ive been going through it since July. As you can imagine this has been a cause of extreme mood changes and low mood and increased anxiety about the pain worstening. It is only now that I am begining to except that this might be life for me and the pain might not be able to be cured. My question is how do you cope with pain and how do you make sure it doesn't take over your life and destroy your relationships. Please help me!!! Anything will help!
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RoisinFinch
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I am so sorry to hear of your pain, and all I can suggest is to get to see your doctor and get some better pain medicine. Perhaps he can put you on to a pain management course or to see a pain specialist who might be more able to offer better medicine.
I certainly do not want to worry you about the pain ruling your life but you must fight it to a degree as otherwise it will rule you. try to pace what you do and make a note of what causes the flare ups and how bad they are as it may only be a short wipe-out so you know not to push so hard next time or if a bad one then you know not to do that again.
Learn how to relax and perhaps try swimming or some other gentle exercise regime, but speak with your doctor for advice on what you can do and not do as you can make things much worse by trying something you shouldn't.
This advice lark is quite good if only I would do as I preach i probably would not be as bad as I am.
Sorry to hear you are suffering so badly with your back.From what you have said,it doesn't sound like anyone has been trying to help you so it looks like you need to start taking control.The very first thing you must do is get your gp to refer you to your local pain clinic.They are able to offer treatments others are not able to prescribe.I have had similar problems to yours for over 20 years and until I was referred to the pain clinic,I could do very little due to pain.Since then I have had facet joint injections,nerve blocks and acupuncture. I have been prescribed strong opiates and I have been given Etanercet injections to give myself once a week.I am now able to do most things and the pain is mostly well controlled.You can make things better for yourself but you have to push things and start by getting referred to the pain clinic.Good luck
Sorryout your problems.
Chronic pain is very personel to the suffer, you will know this because of being a nurse.
All I suggest is get yourself to a pain clinic, they will sort your meds out, and give you the tools to get you through your life. There a several sub courses that they can put you through. to assist and help with flareups
The main problem is those whill live with you, that will need to give support. You are on the right web page for that also that is full of people that care.
Personally I have been through this mill for thirty years my meds are basically sorted and you are able to manage with the flareups with support with doctors and specialists.
So it is not all negative, you must make that negative into a positive and do not let it ruin your life
So look after yourself, remember this site is for you to let out negative feeling, noone will judge
Hello and welcome to the forum. I have the exact same medical conditions as yourself, I am 56 years old and have been suffering for over twelve years, at first it was put down to sciatica and basically nothing done. After many years I finally got a diagnosis after a MRI scan. This was all thanks to my local chemist who had taken note of all the pain tablets I was taking. He told me to insist on being referred to a pain clinic and things started happening from there.I have had a visit from an occupational therapaist who arranged for a few things to help my mobility in the home, my family bought me a walking aid, bit like a push chair! It has a shopping bag and a seat on it. I went for the injection in the spine a month ago and it has been a blessing. The arthritis in the spine is still severe but the pain in the right leg has eased tremendously. The advice you have received from the two previous members on here is brilliant and i cannot add to that except to say that you have to find what triggers the flare ups and to pace yourself. Keep going to all your doctors appointments as they become such a trial especially when you are in chronic pain. You will get there in the end, I wish you all the best. By the way I was a health care assistant and had to give it up also due to pain, I now keep myself busy with all sorts of crafts etc, have a good day Ann
Thank you for your replies, I probably should have explained more, I do have an excellent g.p. and we have fortnightly appointments I'm also under the care of my local pain clinic and a spinal specialist from Birmingham. I am being supported but in my head I'm still thinking OMG I CANT BELIEVE THIS IS MY LIFE!! I have always wanted to be a nurse, I can't remeber a time when I didn't want to be nurse, its a passion of mine and now I cant do it. My husband is in the army and is away alot and we don't live near our families. My husband is incredibly supportive and so are our families but I still feel like I'm so alone. Eight years ago when I was diagnosed I was told that 'It want cause you any problems.' Then I started my training (I know I've made thinigs worst for myself) and I just cant believe that this is how my life has planned out. I am seeing a psychologist Ive only had two appointments and now I'm not seeing her till after christmas because were going away over the holidays.
Its just nice to talk to people who are going through the same thing, even if it is for different causes.
My husband and I have been finding this difficult because I'm begining to lose patience with myself because I feel I should be 'back to normal' by now. Ive suffered many 'flare ups' in the past and have been able to handle them. I know its because of my anxiety that this time it is worst and prolonged and I just can't seem to be able to get over it.
Hi,sorry to hear of your pain and so young . I;m 51 and was medically retired last year due to mine which came on after a bad fall in 2009.It set off lumbar stenosis,facet joint arthritis,a slipped disc and sciactica,lots of nerve pain neck shoulders back and legs,so instead of my back being the age i am its about 30 years older !! lol.
I have tried numerous pain meds,injections,pain team assistance,all of which have not really helped. It has taken me a long time to get my head to stop saying 'woe is me' and to be honest some days it still does..those are my very special TLC when I treat myself with kid gloves and probably do not do much except what i want to.
I find meditation with some lovely music helps,waling out and touching a bush or two ,just to remind me this is now and to stop me wallowing on the past. My gym work is now pool only,that took a while as i remembered the days when i'd work out for an hour or more,loved the rower,the weights, but that is not possible ..so i took my exercise to water and use water weights,jog across the deep end ,do squats and body presses in the shallow and on days when i just cant face that ..i use the jacussi only and on days when I just cant face going out..i use a pilates ball and practise pelvic tilts,I stretch and squat whilst doing jobs round the house . I find a bike is easier than walking , so i pop on that to go to the shop or to get fresh air.
On my very low days,I grab my comp, a book, my knitting..put on a film or music and just relax into that..after all its only a day and my body is saying hey rest.
Its hard to adjust our heads,especially when 24/7 pain..but i believe by not focusing on it,by telling it it wont win,by just getting on and doing,we empower oursleves to learn to adjust living with it.
I hope you find your way of dealing with it..and i wish you a happy christmas xx
Thank you for this message. Before my operation I used to have a fairly good grasp on living successfully with my pain but I don't know what happened. I try and go swiming, when i say swiming I go and walk in water and use the sauna and jacuzzi! haha. I also try and tai chi, but I'm limited to opertunities because I'm so scared of going out on my own and then the pain starting and not being able get my self home. I just manage to drive to the g.p. and back with out panic.
I hate HATE how much it has taken over our social lives, were a 23 year old newly married couple and I feel like my back not only controls my life but his aswell!
For example, we plan a night out with friends but I instantly start worrying about what will happen if my back goes bad and I work my self up and over analize everything to such an extent that it spoils my night and im really tence which causes a) antomsphere between my husband and I B) It makes my pain worst. So then were out and I want to leave early because of my back but my husband is enjoy and would like to stay but comes home with because I beg him because I dont like being in pain when I'm on my own, I get scared. Then I feel ingredibliy guilty about spoiling everyones night.
Its got to the point that now I have started removing myself from social occasions so I elimante the risk of increasing my pain but then I feel so down because I'm staying in on my own and everyone els my age is out having the time of their lives. I know these are things that I will discuss with my psychologist and I look forward to it, but I just want to hear from other people who have gone throught the same things and came out the other side.... alive and somewhat happy and functional!!!
me again.Let me just say your behavior is exactly what most people in our situation go through,guilt,withdrawing from society and worried about becoming a burden.This starts a cycle which will tear you apart if you don't overcome it.It must be awful to be suffering like you are at the age of 23 you have a long life ahead of you and you owe it to yourself and family to make the most of it.I still say that once you get your pain under control,things will seem much better.You may still be able to carry on with your nursing.I was medically retired last year,but that was at my request.Up until then,I had worked for the Met Police and I was based in Scotland Yard.I did not ho out onto the streets but I carried out my full duties sometimes working 72 hours a week doing shift work including nights.Apart from the Ankylosing Spondylitis and spinal stenosis,I also have arthritis in my knees and hips,I also have insulin dependent diabetes,kidney failure and cardiac problems but I still manage to live a reasonably normal life because my pain is under control.You can do this too if you get the help and support you need.My wife has been wonderful,she knows the score and is very supportive.I do my best not to moan about my illnesses as this gets her down.Apart from that she is fine.I was first diagnosed with ankylosing spondylitis at the age o 21,I am now 57.Treatments have improved over these years and will continue to improve.You have these new treatments to look forward to.Try to stay positive and you will feel better.I have a Border Collie and he makes sure I get out for a walk everyday.without him I would be house bound by now.Enjoy your life,you only have one shot at it so make the most of it
I also have a scoliosis, though a mild one, but it has contributed to my pain. Have been through the panic of "this might well be with me forever" and it's not nice. It took a long time to come to terms with that & I still have my moments of worry. But there is a way through it, maybe not quick solutions though.
I work in healthcare, and am lucky enough to have found a part-time job that isn't ward or hospital based, and I have supportive colleagues. I think having plenty of things to do that doesn't focus too much on the pain is helpful & distracting.
As for a social life, mine isn't exactly massive as I have children, but I don't let the pain stop it, and going out for a short time is better than not going out at all.
Don't blame yourself for "making things worse", especially for doing your nurse training. None of us can predict how the future will really be, you followed your dream at the time, and even though you are not nursing at the moment, you achieved a great thing, and should be proud of yourself.
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and on days when I just cant face going out..i use a pilates ball and practise pelvic tilts,I stretch and squat whilst doing jobs round the house . I find a bike is easier than walking , so i pop on that to go to the shop or to get fresh air. 
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