To Do Or Die

[pearl033]

I don't remember most of my childhood. The memories pop up in my head like spurts or clusters.

She said she loved us; my mom. He could've killed us, I thought you were supposed to put your kids first. I have an idea why I hate people so much. She always told me hate was a strong word. I can hear her voice in mine. Who am I talking to when I talk to myself? The little girl in me? She doesn't want to be here anymore, i'm not sure if I want to give in. I have so much love to share with a family I want to create.

I've had too many dreams of child birth.

I don't want to be here, HERE in this shit show, around these people. I never fit into any puzzle, I feel like the extra legos when you finish a set. Why am I here. I don't want to conform to these laws and please people to make a living. I don't feel free. I like to speed, I guess because of the amount of control I have. I'm known as a speed demon. I'm the realest, most sweetest yet serious person you'll ever come across. I feel my heart is made of butterflies; it's been transformed from being hurt and damaged to growing into soft/delicate n beautiful lepidoptera. I now know my worth.

I'm on the fence about if i do continue to try and live my life or to end my life. Does anyone else feel the same ?

[DarkMoonSide]

At least you still want something, I just want to leave this world, you people can have it all...

[pearl033 in reply to DarkMoonSide]

I don’t even think it’s worth it. I’ve racked my mind about what to do. I have two biggest fears. 1, falling from high heights and 2, Not breathing. I want to sky dive before I kms, i’ll b facing my biggest fears tg if the parachute doesn’t work

I have so much love to give BUT i hate people and they don’t deserve me. My family doesn’t. They will b fine without me, it’s not like i’m in their lives now anyway so it wouldn’t make a difference I hope my biggest revenge is them REGRETTING their mistakes.

[pearl033]

Good Evening That’s a weird coincidence btw.

I’m happy that living is the better option for you and that you chose to stay here w us.

I think abt how they’d feel or what they’d say, will they remember my name ?

I love that it’s going to be your new catchphrase

Thank you for sharing ❤️