IVF pregnancy keep thinking the worst.

[Tanzytilly]

Hi all, 4w 5d pregnant with my 5th embryo transfer..I've had many miscarriages in the past and can't help but think every twinge I get or little cramp means the worst is going to happen.. everytime I go to the loo, I expect to see blood. Any one else had reoccurring losses and have any tips on how to cope and overcome the anxiety and worry. . Just want to make it to my viability scan on the 4th june and for all to be ok. Thank you xx

[JA-fnuk Partner]

This will be a very stressful time for you Hope you have people around you for support On our website fertilitynetworkuk.org go to Access Support and select Fertility Groups then scroll to UK-Wide Groups and select Pregnancy & Beyond Groups and follow prompts to register Next meeting is Tuesday 28th May 8pm via Zoom

Take care

Janet-Partner

[Tanzytilly in reply to JA-fnuk]

Thank you. Will definitely take a look. Xxx

[MVS22]

Hi, I used the link below to check on the % of miscarriage / % of not miscarrying each day. It helped my anxiety in the beginning stages and helped to focus on the positive (ie that today I am pregnant and the % of miscarrying is getting lower and lower each day).

Good luck xx

datayze.com/miscarriage-chart

[Tanzytilly in reply to MVS22]

Hi thank you so much. Its nerve wrecking. Xxz

[MrsOrangejuice]

Yes, and even after a successful pregnancy it didn't go for me second time around. The trauma of infertility and losses aren't easy to erase and I'm not sure they ever go really, just fade, like old scars. I even thought second time, when I probably should have been more confident, that because I'd been so lucky to have one that lightning can't strike twice and I was even more likely to lose the second one. But there's no logic to that. Things that helped me both times were getting HCGs done, then extra scans, then soon after it was hearing a heartbeat at a midwife appointment, or a reassuring blood test result - it was a bit like a fix and would keep me going for a little while. Then you start to feel kicks and that helps day to day. But even after the birth of my first I assumed I wouldn't get to keep her so I wasn't fixed. Counselling would probably have helped, maybe even hypnotherapy but I was a bit too proud and skeptical then to do it - now I would take anything going that eases the worry. At the stage you're at if nothing else maybe just take comfort in the fact that each day the odds get better and that as you and the little bean have got this far means the overwhelming liklihood is that it will be ok.

[Tanzytilly in reply to MrsOrangejuice]

Thank you. It's nice to know I'm not alone in thinking and feeling these things. I'm greatful for each passing day, that's for sure. Xxx

[butterfliez]

It is so difficult to try to relax and be excited in a pregnancy after years of ivf loss/losses. I can't say that it becomes much easier as time goes by but what has helped me is focusing on each week, each week is another milestone. I work towards those next steps, the scans, appointments, midwife checks etc.

The anxiety for me has been through the roof after losing my first daughter at 34 weeks. I feel I have no safe zone in this pregnancy (currently 29 weeks ) but I have had good care through consultant and midwives which does help.

I also had that overwhelming worry in the early stages of miscarriage. getting to the viability scan feels like such an achievement too after everything. That is all you can do is try to focus on that date and that everything is well at the moment.

wishing you all the best X

[Tanzytilly in reply to butterfliez]

I'm sorry for your loss. And sending you all the luck for your current pregnancy. I'm sure it will all be fine 🙂... yeah I'm greatful for each passing day, just wish the 4th june would come around quicker, get the viability scan done, and then I feel I can relax abit, and not look to much into every ache and pain I get. Xxx