hospice

[ellie2211]

hello, I recently joined as my father is entering hospice soon and I wanted to connect with others with similar experiences. He has has a long fight with prostate cancer . ~6 years

should I stop working to spend more time with dad? Or try to take a leave? Im in the u.s. so I think I have to be ready to leave my job. I just don't dont want to have regrets. What did you do?

thanks

ellie

[kenster1 Volunteer]

Hi sorry to hear about your dad when my dad was ill with cancer I kept working full time and it was really tough going as his sister lived with him and she had dementia. my job was only a contract but could you maybe discuss with your employers about going part time for a period hopefully that can be an option.

[chloe40 Administrator]

Hi ellie2211

Welcome to our community.

I’m really sorry to read your sad news about your father.

Yours is a decision only you can make, hard as that is. Whatever is right for you x

Chloe

[dutchgirl71]

Hi ellie2211. I am sorry to hear of your dad’s decline. My mom was on hospice for 6 months before passing in February. As hard as it is, hospice is a great program so be comforted that your dad is in good hands. My mom required full time care, so I worked part time and shared the responsibility with my sister. My other sisters helped out as they could, so it’s a personal choice. You could also use FMLA for time off (family medical leave act). I don’t know your job or financial situation if you were to take time off, and it’s ok if you cannot. On the other hand, spending more time with a parent at the end of their life is always a blessing. I wish you peace.

[Blue-Mockingbird]

Hello ellie2211, my husband was in home hospice for 6 months before passing away in March. He too had prostate cancer with mets to bones which caused a compression fracture of a vertebrae that eventually left him bedridden.

I think your dad’s level of ability would determine how much time you’d need to devote to his care. If he’s still able to get around and use the toilet, make light meals, etc, then I think part time care is all he’d need. But if he needs help torta cannot do these things by himself then you probably will need to be with him full time.

Hospice provides a nurse visit and bath aide weekly as well as access to a social worker and chaplain.

You don’t mention if there are others who can also help so, I’m assuming not. My heart goes out to you. Hospice also provides grief counseling.