OCD and Having children

[OrchidKoi15]

I was wondering if anyone with severe ocd, social/health anxiety has had or is planning to have children? My husband and I are looking to start a family and I am very worried because right now I am not working and still having occasional ocd flareups. I am worried that I should not subject a child to my disorders and because of the disorders I feel I may not be able to raise them right. Also, they are more prone to have them. My social anxiety is to the point where I almost dont want to have a baby because of the baby shower. My health is in a lot better place since I havent been working. I am constantly thinking I am less then everyone else though because of not working though. Anyway, sorry to babble. Thank you for reading.

[Selesnya]

There are a lot of people with OCD that have kids, including me. It's certainly not without its challenges at times, but everyone has their own challenges in their own ways. Don't let your OCD dictate what you can do. Live your life as you want to live with it and learn to cope with the challenges as best you can. You're not always going to make the perfect choice, and that's OK. Part of learning to be a parent is letting go of the idea that you can do things perfectly. There are just such an array of choices in how you approach a million different topics that all have an effect on you and your family. There is no perfect way, just the way that you think is the way to deal with each individual situation. You can't know that your choices are right, just that you are doing the best that can given the circumstances.

This sounds so easy to say, while it is hard to convince yourself that you are making a good choice. OCD will bring up a lot of anxiety and uncertainty to tell you that things might go wrong. They will go wrong at times, but you can make it through.

Think about what you want for yourself and your husband, and work toward that together. Everything after that you can deal with one situation at a time. Don't try to solve everything up front, just take events as they come. If you don't want a baby shower, say that you don't want one and leave it at that.

[OrchidKoi15 in reply to Selesnya]

Thank you this is really helpful

[dbeck128]

I understand this. I have 3 children myself. 6,3,0! I will be honest and tell you some days its hard. I have GPD, OCD, BP2. but they make it worth it. More times than not they have been my saving grace. I will say that having a strong support system is what makes it easier. When I'm having an attack I need someone close to me to watch the kids. For me it's my mom. Until I calm down. If I'm around a bunch of commotion during a panic I will get very antsy and snap easily. So I feel like the biggest blessing for me is my support system. That's what helps me the most.

[Mindfulelephant]

Dear OrchidKoi15, I am asking myself the same thing (more hypothetically as I am now single again and will finish my degree next year). As this post is a year old, I wondered what your thoughts are now or maybe also experiences