Fibro threatens job offer

[myfriendsmademe]

I've 42 and after not working for about 4 years due to illness/depression I decided to go back and study. This week I learnt the place I've worked and volunteered at to get my required 260clinical hours will not be offering me work, not even part-time. And I know it's because of my fibro. The head nurse said "I need to know you're well enough to work when I roster you on". In my 2years I've only gone home sick twice because I was vomiting. I'm guttered...has anybody else felt fibro has disadvantaged them in a horrible way?

[Newquay]

Really sorry to hear that but I am afraid it like that. I was an accountant for ten years at same place, when I started with this fibromayia I was off work more than I was there, but I was very luck it was only a small firm.

So in the end my boss gave me the keys and said here you are go in when you want and go home when you need too. ( great I thought )

But over a two year period I worked less and less and took work home.

I was so tired I kept making mistakes, well in accounting that will not do.

I went in one day sat down and cryed my boss said I was just letting you make the decision so I went on sick even my boss was so upset I had become like a family member, I even run his business for in when his son died while he wasn't able to that how close we had become.

I think the only job you might get offered is one where it doesn't matter if you can't go that other people are not relying on you.

I am truly sorry but that's the way it is with fibromayia for most of us.

I hope you get something soon but keep do voluntary work you are doing a very important job.

Take care G

[myfriendsmademe in reply to Newquay]

Thanks for your reply. Sorry to hear fibro has affected you detrimentally at work too. You can take a pill for the pain, not so much for the foggy brain or the fatigue .

[Newquay in reply to myfriendsmademe]

I can take many pills as I have an adverse reactions to them.

I have just had a hernia repair with a full tummy tuck and could only take paracetamol mostly.

I do take oxinorm which tend to put me in bed so it isn't so easy I only which it was.

Even with anit sick dugs I am still sick lol.

[myfriendsmademe in reply to Newquay]

God not even being able to take tablets makes managing pain hard. I hope you've found something that helps.

[Newquay in reply to myfriendsmademe]

Yes it's very hard some times that's why I get cranky I find the less I do the better the pain but can't do nothing at all.

It,s like I tryed to tell people I only look as good as I do because I am not working.

The thought of going to work I really like but tell me any one who would employ someone who doesn't alway go is very sharpe with people and to be honest completely nasty off hand and is like hell to live with when pain just gets to you so much you wish you could go to sleep and not wake up.

Been there worn the tea shirt don't like it.

At the assessment if some one hadn't told me that if you get up walk out or get off hand I would have given her both barrels walked out, that they just stop your money and count it as though you didn't attended . Instead I count to ten more times than I can remember.

When she said they didn't want to know that I might not get to toilet on time and need a shower and that I can be in my own home and this happen that was the boiling point.how I didn't lose it altogether I. Will never know. I have still been in very bad pain my calf is numb with her lifting my leg when I said I couldn't, it's just about easy ing off now but still not back to how good it does get.

Any way had my rant.

Take Care

[Lottieonline in reply to Newquay]

You are the only person I've heard say they take OxyNorm??

They have just changed mine to Shortec, they swear at the surgery they are the same hhmmmmm I'm not so sure?

[Newquay in reply to Lottieonline]

Go look them up on Internet you will soon find out.

But I only take them when I can stand any more pain I have to take anit sick ness with them, but still make me feel horrible but takes most of the pain away.

[BlueMermaid3]

Hi there

In answer to your question and huge big fat Yes! I had time off work due to my Fibro from my beloved job.

I was then hospitalised over Christmas a couple of years ago with Pneumonia. I had only been off work for a couple of days when my boss started bullying me. He had previously told me to my face that if I didn't get into work there would not be a job for me to return to.

I was so sick of the constant bullying (there was a lot more to it than I've written) that I handed in my resignation letter. It was accepted immediately.

I loved my job working with students with Autism, Aspergers, behavioural issues, etc. I feel like my 8 years working with these wonderful children was pointless. It's all gone down the drain.

I'm angry and sad in equal measures about it. I put my heart and soul into my job. I've lost so much due to this rotten condition.

Sorry to be so negative.

Lu xx

[myfriendsmademe in reply to BlueMermaid3]

Hi Lu

Thanks for sharing your experience. I'm sure there were students whose lives you touched during those 8 years who would not agree your efforts were pointless.

I hate to hear that a but got away with their behaviour. But I understand there are times you just reach your limit...and something has got to give.

[Merrrm in reply to BlueMermaid3]

Bloody insensitive employers!! But the years you provided support to the students were not wasted. To have made a difference in the face if adversity is something to be proud of.

It's a sad reality for many fybro's that we will work for employers who just will not get it......we CAN do our work but need reasonable adjustments to schedules.

But it is true also that some of us just don't have jobs that can provide the flexibility we need. So in some ways we set ourselves up to fail because of our stubborn determination.

Chin up... start looking for something you can do that you will lesrn to enjoy.

Health first always.

Hugs

Xxx

[BlueMermaid3 in reply to Merrrm]

Hi

Thanks for your kind reply. My employer was convinced I was drunk at work due to my balance problems.

Quite ironic when I've been teetotal for years and years.

My boss was a real nasty piece of work. He was making my Fibro flare through the roof with his constant false accusations.

I did nothing but work extremely hard with a whole 20 minute unpaid lunch break that I was expected to work through if needed.

I have to let go of it now, which is not easy. I want to do a job helping others, but I need to learn to manage my illness first. Something I haven't yet learned to do 😥

xx

[Newquay in reply to BlueMermaid3]

I have felt drunk many times.

Will give you a laugh got up one morning had to hold onto fireplace couldn't talk right staggering my husband thought I had a stroke, I told him all I need is rest but he was having none of it .

He called my doctors they were here in 15 it just turned out to be the fibro but I did really feel for him.

He has been excellent all the time but he now has got CFS so it's the blind leading the blind. We get through and what we can do our cleaner and family do but you know what we have learnt to laughter at it now. Get the bottle of wine out. Best thing we ever did learn to laugh at our mis futures

G

[BlueMermaid3 in reply to Newquay]

Lol G 😊

I guess we do have to learn to laugh.

I feel embarrassed when I wobble when I'm out.

I want a t shirt that says "I'm not drunk, I have Fibromyalgia"

Lu x

[Newquay in reply to BlueMermaid3]

Think that could be arranged I am of on hoildays tomorrow fuerteventura for 10 days with friends to help out. Got our own villa first time ever done that.

Hoping all goes well.

[Hidden in reply to BlueMermaid3]

see CAB, go for constructive dismissal with employment tribunal. If your sacked your liable for compo..they know that so push for you to leave knowing its not their fault you went freely. Push back and sue them- get advice from Citizen Advice quickly.. time is important-

[BlueMermaid3 in reply to Hidden]

Hi kazzgirl

I'm not sure if your reply is for me? I left in 2011 so I'm sure I'm out of time. I knew full well it was constructive dismissal. I found a report about me that was packed with lies. They were obviously trying to get rid of me.

The last 5 years have been horrendously hard. I don't have the strength to fight them.

Thank you anyway Lu x

[Hidden in reply to BlueMermaid3]

ok hun-.-.-.-.-. your the one who knows, good luck in life..

[BlueMermaid3 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you xx

[Sorebones]

I was medically retired 15 years early. I was classed as a health and safety risk. I have many thoughts behind that but that's the way they work. Funny how DWP seemed to think I was still fit for work. Rock. Hard place 😺

[landslider]

absolutely - I am off ill now because my employer didn't understand and wouldn't listen when I told them I couldn't lots of long shifts clustered together - even with a couple of days off at the end. They just don't understand the concept of 'pacing' xx

I am really worried now that when I finish my degree in October, I will be in the same position as you xx

[rosewine]

That is a real bummer after all the hard work you have put in. I was finished after about 20 years working on and off for the same charity because of my illness and I was heartbroken as I adored my job. To be honest the ain was so severe and the drugs made me feel so Foggy at the time that realistically I would have been unable to do !y job to the high standards that I set myself. I was only a few years from retirement age so even though it was hard it was not like been written off when I was younger.

I can.t understand how she could come to this decision when in 2 years you had had so little time off a fit person getting the flu would have had much more time off. Were you working shifts when you were doing this clinical work as if you were surely you had more than proved yourself. Nothing I can say can !make you feel better only that we can all empathise with you. Soft hopefully comforting hugs coming your way.x

[ClareCrip]

This strikes me as blatant disability discrimination. You can prove how little your health has affected your volunteering so there is no excuse for treating you like this. There is a duty, in the UK at any rate, to make reasonable adjustments, I don't know where you are from, but I would actively consider seeking legal advice on this. It may get you nowhere, but I think we are all too easily persuaded to accept this sort of treatment - I include myself in that, I know I have let it happen in the past. There are times when I could kick myself with frustration as a result!

Good luck, don't let the b******s grind you down!

[TheAuthor]

I am so genuinely sorry to read that and I want to sincerely wish you all the best of luck with finding gainful employment somewhere where you will be appreciated for who you are! I want to genuinely and sincerely wish you all the best of luck.

All my hopes and dreams for you

Ken

[kazhodluckymilo17]

My line manager sent me to see someone in occupational health at work.....can only say how grateful I am that between them they are trying to make things at work as easy as possible for me .... they are looking at my shifts and trying to organise them so I get a few days off in between each working day....my line manager has shown me the rota for the next couple of months and asked me if I need anymore adjustments before it goes out....luckily my colleagues are being a great help to, they have seen how I am when tired or in pain and have witnessed my tears of frustration over the last few months.....shame we don't all have the same consideration from employers

[myfriendsmademe in reply to kazhodluckymilo17]

That's really great you have such positive support. What kind of work is it you do to have such an accommodating workplace?

[Lottieonline]

Yes me!!

I take it you're talking about the NHS?

They have recently asked me to leave the building as it wasn't safe for me, the steps outside the building are dangerous.

I work on the administration side on the Bank = zero hours because no one will give me a contract.

I would try work privately if I were you!

[Hidden]

Go to the nurse, practice or wherever you were working and have a letter printed and signed with exactly what you have wrote about on here, give it to the Dss. That will prevent them from saying your unwilling to live the way they want you to- you need evidence of this cruel sense of worth- and whoever said it to you even though it was true, doesn't realise the hurt which follows- good luck-

[WorkLife67]

Good morning, just seen this post...

The short answer is an employer is not allowed to discriminate against you in terms of offering employment. This is covered by the Equality Act 2010 and exposes them to a justifiable claim of discrimination on the grounds of disability (unless they can show some lawful reason why the are behaving in this way).

From a legal perspective (since that is my job) I am confident that Fibro (and I understand it because my partner has it) is a recognised disability because it is :

"a physical or mental impairment that has a ‘substantial’ and ‘long-term’ negative effect on your ability to do normal daily activities".

Substantial means more than minor or trivial; therefore the physical impairment must be different to ordinary ailments one might face. For example; it's the difference between spraining my ankle by jogging (substantial but not long term) and being unable to wash and set my hair because fibro is killing my arms and shoulders (for a female Fibro sufferer that is more than minor or trivial and long term). Both affect daily activities but only one can be recognised as a disability within the law.

Hope that helps

Kind regards

Steve