Hi all,
I’m new to the site and I wanted to share my story.
I turned 40 years old last year and I’m Very fortunate to have a good loving family, 2 great children, a perfect wife, good job, stressful but I enjoy it.
The Last 12 months I have noticed my behaviour and thought processes change drastically from a busy easy going loving life sort of person, loads of hobbies to a withdrawn, suspicious person with no energy to want to do anything.
A few weeks before going to the doctors I started to what I now know as being a few small panic attacks as if I was going to pass out etc.. then the worrying started before I knew it I was at the doctors, started me on 20mg Citalopram then had my first full panic attack which was horrendous. 2-3 weeks went by with little change so back to the doctors I went and she increased it to 40mg. It was one hell of 6-8 weeks of torture sweats, anxiety,couldn’t eat I had every side effect listed. I couldn’t go out the house, I couldn’t go to work ( bear in mind I am never off sick ). Eventually after 8 weeks the side effects eased and I started small steps by going out for walks, lunch, shopping all the normal things I had always never thought twice about doing. It was so hard and I felt like I had no coping mechanism.
Eventually I went back to work even though I had only felt 50% better in myself but I felt I needed to for my own sanity.
I’m now into the 8th month on Citalopram and I still have blips of anxiety but I feel 100% better than I did and I never want to feel like I did again which is hard because it can trigger the anxiety just thinking about it.
When I’m busy either at work or home I am absolutely fine and then as soon as I stop being busy or pre occupied the anxiety creeps back in.
I have just returned from holiday which was a 2400 mile round trip in France which some days was absolute torture with anxiety which made me anxious about the fact I’m trying relax while I’m off work and I can’t even do that is there something seriously wrong with me??
I’ve always loved driving long distance and always have done it for years but for some reason I couldn’t even cope with that. I just couldn’t wait to get home.
Has anyone else had something similar? It really does make me feel I’m going backwards.