New

[Ste2]

Hi all,

I’m new to the site and I wanted to share my story.

I turned 40 years old last year and I’m Very fortunate to have a good loving family, 2 great children, a perfect wife, good job, stressful but I enjoy it.

The Last 12 months I have noticed my behaviour and thought processes change drastically from a busy easy going loving life sort of person, loads of hobbies to a withdrawn, suspicious person with no energy to want to do anything.

A few weeks before going to the doctors I started to what I now know as being a few small panic attacks as if I was going to pass out etc.. then the worrying started before I knew it I was at the doctors, started me on 20mg Citalopram then had my first full panic attack which was horrendous. 2-3 weeks went by with little change so back to the doctors I went and she increased it to 40mg. It was one hell of 6-8 weeks of torture sweats, anxiety,couldn’t eat I had every side effect listed. I couldn’t go out the house, I couldn’t go to work ( bear in mind I am never off sick ). Eventually after 8 weeks the side effects eased and I started small steps by going out for walks, lunch, shopping all the normal things I had always never thought twice about doing. It was so hard and I felt like I had no coping mechanism.

Eventually I went back to work even though I had only felt 50% better in myself but I felt I needed to for my own sanity.

I’m now into the 8th month on Citalopram and I still have blips of anxiety but I feel 100% better than I did and I never want to feel like I did again which is hard because it can trigger the anxiety just thinking about it.

When I’m busy either at work or home I am absolutely fine and then as soon as I stop being busy or pre occupied the anxiety creeps back in.

I have just returned from holiday which was a 2400 mile round trip in France which some days was absolute torture with anxiety which made me anxious about the fact I’m trying relax while I’m off work and I can’t even do that is there something seriously wrong with me??

I’ve always loved driving long distance and always have done it for years but for some reason I couldn’t even cope with that. I just couldn’t wait to get home.

Has anyone else had something similar? It really does make me feel I’m going backwards.

[LilyAnnepuppy]

Welcome to the community. I’m sure you will receive a lot of identifying support. For most of my life my coping skills worked- until they didn’t. I, too, had never much “thought twice about doing.” It was quite a blow when I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. The panic was terrible and the depression was just as bad. I couldn’t function and sought professional help. God only knows where it came from, but it stinks. With counseling and meds it’s beginning to get under control, but I believe I must accept the disease and do the best I can in treating it. People here will understand. You are not alone.

[oicuamy]

Welcome to the site. I just turned 50 and have a great life to the world outside of my head. It’s hard to explain to people that the thought of feeling so bad with anxiety and panic can lead to the next horrible attack. My anxiety doesn’t just last a day, it has become an everyday struggle. The thought of even going to work makes me sick and fearful. I’m starting a support group tomorrow. Hoping it helps! Good Luck on your journey!