Dead down below. Asexual?

I am feeling a deep sense of loss, although maybe, or at least at one time, and maybe now, it may be what I want or perhaps need. For the last 30 years, I have had a very high libido, and while my partnered life has been vanilla, I had been curious about and interested in just about everything. Since my fluoxetine prescription was increased in the last month, I have felt almost completely numb in the genitals and had almost no sexual desires or feelings. For the last several years I have felt like I had rather strong anhedonia, or rather felt almost nothing about anything, but still I felt like I had a flicker of life in admittedly weak sexual desire. Many times, I had wished that I would lose that little bit of desire as well, but now that it is gone, I feel somewhat empty and sad. I am starting to have some interest in other things, but in terms of physical desire I feel not even dead, or maybe just dead - nothing. I am aware that sexual dysfunction is common for women and men on antidepressants, and I am curious how other people have handled it. I don't know. Maybe I want to be asexual, but whereas my partner used to think my libido was too high, now they are dissatisfied that my libido is gone. Maybe Ginkgo Biloba would help or my psychiatrist could adjust my meds, but I don't even know what I want. I sort of want to want something, but then I don't know if maybe I just don't wany anything. I liked Emily Nagoski's Come as You Are, but I don't know if I want to be what the drugs have turned me into.

[MadBunny]

There is a men's health site on HU ( if youre not already a member) where you might be able to get support from others.

[Shnookie in reply to MadBunny]

I totally agree with you.

[hypercat54 in reply to MadBunny]

Yes I agree with you all.

[Dolphin14]

These are side effects you should bring to your doctor's attention

🐬

[hypercat54]

You are aware aren't you that since you haven't locked your post then it and all the replies can go viral and even appear on social media?

[Arymretep in reply to hypercat54]

Not if it’s hidden .

[hypercat54 in reply to Arymretep]

It wasn't hidden when I put my comment in.

[LoveforAll41]

Hi StillRunning. I think this is a doctor thing as well. I initially dropped fluoxetine because of sexual side effects but things were going pretty well at that time. I went about six years without a heavy duty antidepressant and had amitryptlyine (sp?) in there for a bit. I had a really low low in 2022 and have been on venlafaxine for about 1.5 years now. It is supposed to have less sexual side effects, but everyone is different. I do feel it is not a sleepy or tranquilized feeling. There are some side effects sexually I have noticed, but the drive is still there. Instead of no interest and perhaps ED it becomes inability to orgasm. At least that has been my experience, sorry if that is an overshare.

I'm 32 now and actually had my testosterone checked because my dad had a tumor and extremely elevated prolactin(sp?). It was like 100 which is supposed to be like an 80 year old or something. Everything was working. I did TRT for a while and did not like, hot, getting bigger, didn't want to pay for it. I came off and my testosterone was still at 700 something last I checked. I think that my mental state has more to do with it than hormones? I don't know, but that is another option you could check.

As far as feeling something, I am all for the natural state of things. I like therapy over meds but I am going to take them for at least a few more years now until I really start feeling resilient emotionally.

Also, I think venlafaxine is supposed to be a bugger to get on and off. It wasn't terrible for me since I was at an inpatient center at the time but I definitely had a big spike in anxiety initially. Sorry for the long answer, I wish you peace, hope, and strength.☮️