Hallucinations and depression.

[Create9113]

I'm having a awful year as far as suicide attempts, and hallucinations. My doctor started me in a different antidepressant, and it's made my mind alot worse than ever before. I think my suicidal thoughts have become worse instead of better. The doctors office is closed the next 3 days.

[southernbelle87]

I am sorry you’re going through this. Is it okay to ask what meds they put you on? I’m not a doctor but I’ve been on a lot of different meds and done a lot of switching since 2013. I also suffer from suicidal ideation so I understand how that makes you feel. Kind of like a ride you want to get off but you never asked to get on in the first place.

[Hidden in reply to southernbelle87]

I love this comment "Kind of like a ride you want to get off but you never asked to get on in the first place." That's exactly how I feel every goddamn minute of the day. It's pretty terrifying isn't it. Kinda like I don't want to be here, but I'm too scared to leave if that makes sense. Like being trapped, big time. I've had so many "attempts", that I feel I'm getting close to it every minute of every day. Also suffering really bad with harm ocd and homicidal ideation it's terriifying. I'm lying to my parents who I now live with following divorce, It's like I'm living in an old peoples home. I'm meant to go to college, but I hate it, I've also lost my work experience placement, but I'm too ashamed to tell my parents, so when I was meant to be there yesterday I left the house, got in my car and drove a mile down the road and paced around the car for 8 hours. My mum tells me to go and play in the motorway, and My dad wants me to sort my life out, I'm so close to hanging myself its embarassing, and there's nothing anyone can do to stop it, other than me....I'm living in hell...