Concerned Aunt

[brit90]

My 25 old nephew has ADHD and PTSD ..he is in jail..trying to understand what some of his actions are related to in hopes communicating better with him..He is very concerned about what people think and kind of appearance he makes... seems to always have to appear better than everyone..like dressing in expensive clothes or drive expensive cars... doesn't seem to take responsibility for his actions..is this part of ADHD?

[anirush]

Sounds more like narcissism to me. Actually my daughter and now my 2 grandsons don't really care what other people think about their actions.

One grandson, when unstable, acts out in class in ways that would embarrass me.

I hope when he gets out he will agree to see a counselor but it's hard once they're an adult.

[La_Indy]

It is possible your nephew's concern about his image is related to low self-esteem and difficulty making & keeping friends. Individuals with ADHD often struggle socially but don't always know why. As for not taking responsibility for his actions, I think that sounds more like a maturity issue. I have a cousin in jail who has chosen to make the most of the opportunities they offer. If your nephew could get involved with taking classes, volunteering for stuff, playing an instrument in the ministry, or getting a job skill, these things will go a long way to helping him mature, make friends, and gain self-confidence. Also, if he could try to get counseling while he is there, that would be wonderful.

[WarriorWorrier]

One thing I thought of when I read this (and FYI I am not religious. But I need to feel spiritually connected to something greater. For me, sometimes it’s just nature or feeling connected to the universe. I am sad hearing about kids in jail (25 is so young to me) and being lost. Self help groups and support groups can be of tremendous support and help. People need a place to go to feel safe. This world seems so cold and not as magical when I was growing up. We need some magic back. We need to be lifted up.

[HeathersWellness]

I know it must be difficult to see your nephew making these choices which seem to be against your better judgment. Some researchers have suggested there’s a link between ADHD and PTSD especially in children so perhaps there is some overlap.

Sometimes just getting involved in hobbies, sports, or activities which promote teamwork and social skills development can help offset negative behaviors and attitudes like low self-esteem.

I came across an article describing some of the traits that might be helpful -- bit.ly/2T045bK.

There’s also an online magazine for people with ADHD called ADDitude that offers pertinent information and resources on ADHD for children and adults -- additudemag.com/. You’ll have access to newsletters, videos, webinars, clinical advice or community networking opportunities. I recommend you scroll through it when you have time as it can help you get in touch with other support options as well.

You seem like a very concerned aunt and I’m sure you’re everything you can to help your nephew. While I can’t say for sure if his recent behavior is attributed to either or both of his conditions or to something entirely different, I do believe that there is hope for a turnaround and a brighter future with the proper intervention.

Please stay encouraged and I’ll be praying for you as well as for a change in your nephew’s behavior and direction!