My son is in 8th grade and is 13 years old. He has been on meds to help him focus in school as well as his hyperactivity. But we need help at home, with his lying, executive functioning skills overall and unmotivated. I don't know how to go about finding help for him either a coach or a therapist? And how can i go about finding one that is good, because they are so many in my area of Kirkland, Wa, to choose from.
Thanks!!
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Carla2005
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My son is now 24, so I have some perspective here......first of all, please don't worry too much about the lying. It's not a character flaw - I think many teens lie and most ADHD kids lie; mainly to cover up something they did or forgot, but most likely will be punished for. The lying will gradually disappear as he gets older. However, you must lower your expectations considerably! Your son is functioning about 2-3 years behind where you think he should be. I think this was the hardest thing for my husband and I to truly understand - the fact that ADHD kids (and boys for sure!) develop very slowly. The lack of motivation, the lying, the inability to organize, and generally not to "move forward" or even seem to care about it - this drove us crazy! A therapist is probably not going to be very helpful - kids this age have NO insight into their behavior and having someone else tell him what to do will not motivate him either! ADHD coaches could be helpful, but he's probably too young right now. They are better for college -age kids. Here is my advice: have a few rules and stick to them no matter what. ADHD kids can be great manipulators! Don't talk too much and don't expect heart-to-heart conversations. You will need to have a lot more oversight with him - check backpacks daily, look at his grades, email his teachers, etc. Chores are good, but get rid of the junk - these boys can't organize themselves and the less stuff, the better!! Good luck and know that he will move along but not until his early 20's! Oh - and keep him on his ADHD meds! That helps!
I recently found a homework coach for my 7th grade daughter with ADHD , by reading parent replies from this site. They come out to the home 2x/wk., and are supposed to help with organization, homework, planning ahead. My daughter has only had 4 lessons so far, but I am hopeful it will be helpful.
my 2 grandsons see a behavioral therapist on different days. She sets goals for them, tells them she would never judge them or get angry with anything they tell her, helps them work on behavioral issues.
I actually got on the Internet and looked up behavioral therapist in my area. Found her office on a psychology today website.
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