Judgemental people :(: My 4.5 yo was... - CHADD's ADHD Pare...

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Judgemental people :(

gibsonj1983 profile image
6 Replies

My 4.5 yo was diagnosed with ADHD about 5 months ago. We have tried OT, we are now on Ritalin and Zoloft, and in weekly therapy since Sept for behavior. He is so smart and so sweet but has NO self control and is very unsafe and impulsive. The grocery store trips are the worst. I'm so tired of the look people give me. The look of "can't you get control of your child?" I'm new to this group and hoping to be reminded I am not alone and that my child is not the only one struggling to function socially in society.

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gibsonj1983
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christelferrer profile image
christelferrer

You are not alone. I know this will sound pessimist but people will judge, alienate you, give unwanted advice, and will make you feel like you are a bad parent. You are not a bad parent, only a parent who is misunderstood by the other parents. Most people have no context and no clue what you have to deal with everyday, they are quick to provide you with pseudo solutions that don’t work — by the way, you probably already tried them all— without trying to listen to what you have to say or understand what ADHD behavior challenges represent. It is a long road but with the appropriate treatment (whether you chose to medicate or not, as a parent you know best), the psychological support for your child and yourself, you will see encouraging progress. Many ADHD kids grow to be highly successful.

I wish you all the best, you got this! You already took the first steps. Hang in there.

ExhaustedMomma profile image
ExhaustedMomma

You are not the only one!! My son struggles the same. The only time I can keep him somewhat in control is if he is watching YouTube kids on my phone. Then I get judged because he is glued to my phone. 🙄

I will say that He is now 5.5 and it has gotten better with age. Baby steps.. also, we changed OTs and found one that is amazing. We see her weekly. The strategies she gives have really helped. I think I’ll start posting them here. Maybe it will help someone else too!!

ExhaustedMomma profile image
ExhaustedMomma

Also, I have been heard telling strangers “I bet you couldn’t walk one day in my shoes.” I have a chronic illness and a child with special needs. They quickly turn away. 😬 2 wrongs don’t make a right, but it made me feel better. Lol

Our families are just now understanding him.. it has taken them 3 years. Hang in there Momma!!!

ChaneyMom profile image
ChaneyMom

My son was diagnosed with ADHD very young too. He is 9 now. I remember those grocery trips / restaurants and the looks that strangers would very often give me. It was very stressful for me. You are not alone. Having a child with ADHD is very hard sometimes. Your son sounds similar to mine. He can be very sweet and is very smart but has some major inpulse control problems that just made it so unsafe for him. That is why we chose medication after really weighing our other options. My son is 9 now and I still have a lot of worries about him, but things have gotten better. I no longer dread taking him to the store or restaurants (most of the time 😉). Good luck with your son.

nawilliamsjr23 profile image
nawilliamsjr23

gibsonj1983

U are not alone! I have gone through it myself! First I would find a different Pediatrician. Seems Ritalin and Zoloft does not work. He needs to get evaluated at school for an IEP not a 504. I believe they evaluate at 5 yrs. They should have all the therapy in the IEP he needs. Most importantly a Behavior Specialist.

My son is on Focalin and works very well. It is a slow release because of being full blown ADHD. U might want to ask the Pediatrician about Focalin.

As far as the grocery store, we usually take things away from him for an extended time. He has to earn it back with good behavior!! It works. If u have to spank do it in front of everyone! My son straightened up and became a gentleman quickly!

Hope that helps!!

Dmacc23 profile image
Dmacc23

You are not alone. Us mommas have to stick together. Your son and my daughter sound identical.

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