Were You Also in Denial?

[ashwagandhadidntwork]

Hi, everyone.

I was recently diagnosed with OCD. I have sought help before but I couldn't verbalize exactly what was wrong because I had a mental rule to never acknowledge these unusual thoughts and behaviors (involuntary, uncontrollable, repetitive)...so the possibility of successful treatment hit a dead end really fast until now. I isolated myself and thought it would be better for everyone to think I was depressed rather than "crazy".

I wanted to believe this wasn't happening and I can't believe other people feel like this. It always hurt to tell myself that everyone just deals with it better (no).

Did any of you have a similar experience? I never knew OCD could make you live in fear that you will hurt yourself when you have no desire to.

I have experienced a huge improvement in functioning from the medication I've started and I don't know if it will help me long-term but it has allowed me to admit that OCD takes over my life. It's scary to feel like you can only control your physical body. I shouldn't be this exhausted. When stress happens my intrusive thoughts get stronger, more numerous, and take more energy to ignore. The more I pay attention the worse they get, the more time they need, the more time I lose, and eventually making a pot of coffee feels like it requires the energy of cooking a 4-course dinner.

[JediYoda]

If you are ok with sharing, what med, dose and duration?

I support a OCD spouse. I understand these thoughts feel real to the person.

It seems CBT with ERP elements is critical. In my spouses case not easy to practice ERP as every fear seems real.

She suffers from contamination OCD.

I have read deep breathing with focusing on body parts can help reduce anxiety. Needs lots of practice though

[Hidden in reply to JediYoda]

I am on escitalopram 30 mg, once a day. I've been on it for many years. A couple of things--medications take a couple of weeks to really kick in and you may initially have some side-effects (I had some nausea when I first started it, but it went away). Also, it's really helpful to be working with a therapist also, especially when you're first starting medication. I think the combination of therapy and medication can be very powerful. It's good to be able to discuss with a professional how well a medication is or isn't working. I would encourage your spouse to try therapy and medication together.