emotional abuse

[LuvScooby]

my husband and I usually get along on a surface level. I treat him well. But he does things that are wrong, so that if I confront him he can deny it and chew me out. Playing mind games as a means of control. And weird stuff happens like the porch paint faded off over about a month and now looks bad, and I think he put something on it. And other weird occurrences. This makes me very angry and anxious. I’m 63 and considering divorce. In counseling.

[Nothing_but_books]

Gaslight

"Gaslighting is a colloquialism, loosely defined as manipulating someone into questioning their own perception of reality. Merriam-Webster cites deception of one's memory, perception of reality, or mental stability."

I'm sorry you're experiencing this. It's sick and intended to make you doubt yourself. DON'T.

[LuvScooby in reply to Nothing_but_books]

I appreciate your answer. Thanks.

[kenster1]

Hi is there other issues that have you considering divorce maybe it wasn`t waterproof paint and that`s how it came off obviously I hope you both work through it with the counselling.

[LuvScooby in reply to kenster1]

Good thought, thanks

[Nothing_but_books in reply to LuvScooby]

Trust your instincts. One incident isn't decisive. You'll know if there's a pattern.

[CLB1125]

I hear you! I live with the same thing. 41 years of marriage and I wonder if it’s always been like this and I just didn’t realize it or if it’s something that has progressed over the years. Therapy helped me see and help from the group that it wasn’t me who has a problem. I wish you well.

[LuvScooby in reply to CLB1125]

Thanks!

[Hidden]

Domestic abuse leave

womans aid good worth a visit for a chat

[MollyMarie]

I've been there, done that. I have had that experience for years, then decided to become strong and remove myself from the situation. Best move I ever made, just wish I'd done it sooner. A leopard doesn't change his spots - is a true-ism. Run, don't walk!

[LuvScooby in reply to MollyMarie]

thanks. I’m trying to learn that I’m not powerless

[Midori]

It certainly seem strange if he is doing these things to make you doubt yourself; then it is abuse.

Cheers, Midori