Today has been a very hard day for me. It's been 9 years today that my Mom died. I miss her and my Dad more than I can say.
I have posted the details of what I'm dealing with before and have received nothing but kindness and compassion from people on this site. I am grateful for that and thank everyone who has reached out.
To summarize things as briefly as possible.....I'm anxious about how my lawyer will handle the issue I have with my ex-employer. He seems to be hell bent on either getting money from me or putting me in jail. I have to trust my attorney, but it's hard. And I'm nervous that I won't find another job. Even though I have many years of experience, I'm also 70 years old and people are reluctant to hire someone even over 50!!!! I have a lot of monthly expenses to take care of and no real cushion to fall back on. I'm feeling very anxious on how I will survive. Yes, I am collecting unemployment and social security, but after 26 weeks the UI runs out. I have looked into any benefits I can apply for, however I'm being told that I'm above the income limit. What is the middle class supposed to do?
And mostly I'm feeling very lonely and isolated. I made the stupid mistake of reaching out to my estranged sister, my 1st. cousin and my stepbrother for help and even just some conversation. Basically I was told to drop dead, "I don't care if you live on the streets and sleep in a cardboard box," and "F... you." Who treats someone like that? I wish I never contacted them because now I'm just licking my wounds. I'm feeling as if I don't matter to anyone and that's not a good place to be.
Yes, I am trying my best to be proactive and do things that I feel will help me, but so far nothing has turned up and time goes very fast.
I really don't know what else to do. I never thought my life would be like this. Yes, I've made some bad decisions, however I can honestly say that I never deliberately hurt anyone in my life. I will never understand how some people can be so cruel.
Anyhow, thank you for listening and any positive suggestions and feedback would be so appreciated.
Written by
Stillstanding53
To view profiles and participate in discussions please or .
Hi there I'm so sorry that you're going through this I also lost my job in 2023 and was also on unemployment until it ran out 26 weeks later and you couldn't apply for an extension because of covid mandates they don't do that anymore so I had to take out my deferred compensation in order to pay my rent and the other bills in the home. That money only lasted so long and I wound up losing my home as well and now I live in my sister's basement and it's horrible here because my sister treats me very badly and isn't compassionate towards me at all and makes me feel like my husband and I are not wanted here. In fact we had a blowout tonight and she yelled at my husband saying get the f*** out of my house and I'm very upset. The arrangement was supposed to be I would pay her $300 a month to live here which would help her with her mortgage payments so it was a win-win for both of us will not so much because she complains to my other sister Kelly about me constantly and talks behind my back a lot. She even had the audacity and nerve to call our family physician and ask if my husband was at his appointment because she needed to talk to him which was a lie she was checking up on him because he left to go to where we used to live in Sayreville and see his brother and go to a doctor's appointment and my sister called me a liar and my husband a liar in front of my nephew and said that my story of where Paul went that day sounded sketchy. First of all who the hell is she to call the doctor's office to get information on my husband that's against HIPPA violations and my husband was furious and confronted her about doing that and she tried to tell him that she was only trying to reach out to him so he could ride by her ex-husband's mother's house to check to see if his car was there because he has warrants out for his arrest at this point in time. Maureen is a complete and utter mess she has victim mentality. I asked her what she's going to do when her restraining ordef runs out in a year and she said she didn't know and I said you know damn well he's going to be standing right at the front door waiting to be let in what are you going to do when she had nothing to say. Then she told me that she doesn't want to check with the police officers any longer that are looking for her estranged husband Tony and that's telling me that she is going to welcome him back in this home. Well this POS assaulted me years ago and I charged him with assault and he got off on it because he had a very expensive lawyer which is Mommy paid for and was found not guilty. I was livid and the police officer that arrested Tony that night that he assaulted me couldn't believe what he was hearing. Pennsylvania is a good old boy state and they don't like women up here so I was at a loss and I wasn't treated fairly that's for sure. My sister Maureen and I are not getting along at all so now my husband and I are moving out sooner rather than later because we can't take it here anymore she treats us like children things that she's our mother tries to tell us what to do and has no compassion towards us or our situation in any way. My husband and I are planning to move to Florida in September or even before that because Maureen mentioned tonight that I told her I was leaving in July and I told her by then or September 1st I'll try to get out as soon as possible I mean who treats somebody like that I'm her sister and she did nothing to make me feel welcome here at any time. Now I know who I can depend on and who I can't and that's okay first she's going to be in the same situation in about a year because Tony will probably throw her out of here or something and then she'll need a place to stay well don't look at me at that time I don't have time for her bullshit anymore. The situation makes me feel depressed and this for your battle has been the longest and most debilitating of my entire life. I was incapacitated completely and would sleep night and day and sit in the darkness and not answer my friend's phone calls because I withdraw and isolate when I get like that and I can't seem to shake it. Well today I went to my family physician and he changed my medication from Pristiq to Prozac because my best friend Lisa takes it and so does my husband's cousin who is a therapist and they both swear by it so I'm hoping that it works for me. I'm also going to be placed on Abilify as a booster. Hoping that this medication change works for me and I'm able to continue finding that glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel by digging myself out of the hole called depression. I'm wishing you peace and well-being and hope to talk to you soon.
well I would say that we both have a lot of stuff going on in our lives. Thank you for sharing and I’m sorry that you’re in such turmoil right now. I’m guessing that you live in New Jersey like I do since you mentioned Sayreville. I moved here from New York six years ago and clearly it was the biggest mistake I have ever made. I’ve had nothing but trouble and heartbreak since being here.
I don’t know if you’re the same age as I am but honestly, I really feel like my life is over with. Even though I get up every day and go through the motions, I’m not hopeful that things will turn out OK. This is just too many things hanging over my head and I’m totally overwhelmed.
Family can certainly break your heart and hurt you like no one else can. Nobody knows that better than me. I’m sorry you’re going through all that with your sister.
Anyhow, hang in there as best as you can and I will try to do the same. Just wanted to let you know that I’ll keep you in my prayers.
Hi again. Paul and I used to live in Sayreville we grew up there but had to move to Pennsylvania to my sister's. I'm 54 years old and Paul is 59. We literally feel so disrespected here it's ridiculous that's why I was trying to get out of here so quickly I would never treat my sister Maureen like that and I told her that tonight. She makes it more than apparent that we're not wanted here and that's perfectly fine because we don't feel welcomed here whatsoever. It's time for us to go sooner rather than later cuz we can't stand it here anymore it's toxic. So what's happened to you since you moved to Sayreville? I don't want to pry but I'm trying to help you as best I can so knowing a little more about the situation might help me to be able to suggest or advise you the best that I can because I care and I'm sorry that you think that it's the worst decision you've made in your life. Hoping that it gets better for you. I'm sorry that you feel completely overwhelmed and I will be praying for you to get some relief from that have you tried journaling before? Journaling has helped me get my feelings out which was very therapeutic for me. Also try intentional slow breathing where you breathe in for 5 seconds hold it for 6 seconds and then breathe out for 7 seconds you immediately begin to relax and not be as stressed out or anxious. I also make a list of what grateful for each day. Please always remember that you are enough that you matter and that you are fearfully and wonderfully made by God and he makes no mistakes. Please keep in touch with me and let me know how you're doing okay. I wish you peace and well-being and will be praying for you.
Thanks for writing again. I live in Howell, New Jersey. If you’re not familiar, it’s close to freehold. I moved here in June 2018. After losing both parents and getting divorced after being with him for 25 years. We were married for 19 years 10 of which he lied and cheated. I had enough and just needed a fresh start. The job market in Jersey is not the same as New York and neither is the pay scale, which you likely know. Since being here I have had four jobs during that time, one of which I have to sue the employer because he sexually harassed me. And the cost of living in New Jersey is just as high as New York.
a couple of friends I did make while living here turned out to be no friends at all, and deliberately went out of their way to hurt and betray me. So it hasn’t been a good experience. I do keep a journal and I try to be grateful for what God has given me but lately I just have too much to deal with. I don’t know if you read any of my other post but I am dealing with possible criminal charges on top of being unemployed. I’m also a three time cancer survivor and I’m afraid that it’s possibly come back and I don’t know how I’m gonna handle that either . My motto is basically take one day at a time and do the best I can.
Hi there. I know exactly where Howell is as my husband Paul and I used to live in Manalapan right before we left New Jersey in October of 2023. Since then I had to move in with my sister and I'm living in her basement right now which is horrible but I'm grateful to have a roof over my head but she doesn't make it easy and we feel totally unwelcome here. Last weekend or should I say 2 days ago she came down to the basement where Paul and I are living with a flashlight on her cell phone and looked around and my husband has this all on camera so I can front it with that and she said that she was looking for my cat which is a lie. We feel totally disrespected and violated and she doesn't seem to get it at all but we're moving here in July or the latest September so we'll be out of here soon enough. I'm sorry that your friends in New Jersey betrayed you. I live by the rule it's about quality not quantity and they say that if you can count your friends on one hand you are very lucky person. I have three girlfriends that I talk to on a regular bases and that's it I keep my friend Circle very small because I've been been betrayed as well. I'm sorry that you lost your parents as well I have to my dad passed in 1990 and my mother in 2004. I hope to God that your cancer doesn't come back I will be praying for you a lot. Please keep in touch with me and let me know how you doing and if no one has told you this you are worthy you are enough and you are fearfully and wonderfully made by God and he makes no mistakes always remember that okay. Wishing you peace and well-being.
Hello- I recently had to resign because of my mental health. I have tried to apply for some thing and have been told my husband makes too much money. It's so frustrating because we are barely scraping by and we are putting our son through college. It is hard to be grateful when things are hard, but I think you are doing an amazing job. Hang in there and trust that your lawyer will help you.
I am sorry that you had to leave your job, but your own well being comes 1st. Are you able to file for disability? I know it's a long process, but perhaps you should try. It really is so frustrating how the system does not provide for the middle class people who are struggling. I have tried to apply for assistance also and I'm told I make too much! That's really funny since I can't pay my bills. Yes, it is hard to be grateful sometimes but I look at it like this. We got up this morning and took a breath. Many people took their last breath this morning as well. Some days I don't feel like getting out of bed, but I force myself. You hang in there also and reach out whenever you need to. Take care!
Hi Sunshine!I, too, am sorry you had to leave your job. Try applying for disability. After back surgery in 2016 I decided not to return to my healthcare job which was the cause of my back issues. I'm a retired Occupational Therapist. A few months later I started spiraling down; have long history of depression and anxiety. Wasn't sure what I was going to do for money, was ok short term. Between my back issues and mental health issues I ended up applying for disability. It took several months and a couple hospitalizations (psych) but I was approved on the first try. Many are not and have to appeal. A friend of mine was initially denied but won on appeal. Look for a disability attorney. There's no out of pocket and you only pay if you win your case and will be paid retro from applying.
Hi there, you never get over losing you parents if you are lucky enough to have special ones, like we did, mine died many years ago but I miss them both every day, but I know they are always with me.
Those that live in the hearts of others never die❤️
Sorry to hear what you’re going through, we are all here for you, take care
Content on HealthUnlocked does not replace the relationship between you and doctors or other healthcare professionals nor the advice you receive from them.
Never delay seeking advice or dialling emergency services because of something that you have read on HealthUnlocked.
Feeling alone and depressed
What should I do? What do you do when you feel depressed or anxious or BOTH?
Feeling Depressed/Anxious and burnt out on life at 55
Anxious depressed and lonely
